


For His Heart

by Emcee



Series: Through His Eyes [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, F/M, Psychic Bond, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23419447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emcee/pseuds/Emcee
Summary: Spock realizes that he needs to tell Nyota that his elder self has been watching their encounters.
Relationships: Spock/Nyota Uhura
Series: Through His Eyes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684618
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	For His Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [devilgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilgrrl/gifts).



> I don't usually take requests, but devilgrrl pointing out that this would be a really interesting conversation made me really want to write it.

Spock searched through his mind. He couldn't feel that connection to his other self, that small presence in his mind that had been so pervasive since they had ended up in the same reality. The Ambassador was awake. When they were both awake, they lived their own lives. It would allow Spock the privacy he needed.

He hadn't realized what was happening at first. The dreams he had as the Ambassador seemed like it could have been his mind telling him what he was neglecting by staying in Starfleet. 

Then, he saw himself staring down into the photo. He barely knew the people in that photo. He'd only been serving with them for a short time. They were much older in the image. And they were friends. He could feel the pain and loss echoing through him-- through the Ambassador-- and knew what he was truly seeing.

Once he realized the truth, he rationalized it as an experiment. No other Vulcans had ever been in this situation. It was logical to explore it to its fullest extent.

A deep, primal part of his brain enjoyed having someone else witnessing him with Nyota. He did not know if he would ever match the Ambassador in accomplishments... But he had her. Spock had wooed and won the heart of Nyota Uhura. For everything the Ambassador had done in his life, it was Spock himself who had done that. When she clutched at him and cried out _Spock!_ It was him she was calling to.

Those moments were fleeting. And shameful. That shame grew when Spock saw the memories of the Ambassador. His pleasure in watching Nyota wasn't out of voyeuristic lust, but... Longing.

Longing for what was.

Longing for what might've been.

Longing for what could never be again.

He had the chance to pursue Lieutenant Uhura. Spock had felt the Ambassador's desire to, resisting only out of duty and fear of her rejection.

Spock didn't want to think of the other memory he saw. He knew a Vulcan's lifespan far outstripped a human's. It had been something he had thought about since the moment he allowed himself to love Nyota.

But seeing it. Seeing the finality of it. It sent a shiver up his spine. 

The Ambassador had been torn from his time. He was lost in a world that was not his own. His friends-- his Lieutenant Uhura-- were gone forever.

But perhaps Spock could allow him something. He just needed some time with no one else in his head so he could work out the details. He stood stock straight, staring at the door to his quarters. 

As anticipated, the doors slid open only a few minutes later. Nyota walked in, smiling. "Hey Honey." She paused, frowning at him. "Were you waiting for me? I'm not that late. I was actually waylaid by a message from your sister. She's taking leave to go to New Vulcan and was hoping I could persuade you to join her. I was planning to tell her we just got onto the Enterprise and it's too early for us to..."

"Yes." Spock said quickly, nodding. "It would be illogical for us to leave our posts so soon. However, I do not wish to discuss Michael at this moment. I have a matter I need to discuss with you." He felt a wave of nerves he tried to suppress. "I have acquired some wine for you. May I pour you a glass?"

Without waiting for her answer, Spock walked to the wine he had previously opened and started to pour a glass for Nyota.

She sat down on the bed to unzip her boots. She glanced over at the bottle Spock held in his hand. "Chateau Picard? That's a good bottle. What did I do to deserve this? There isn't something wrong, is there?"

Spock held out the glass for her. He sat down beside her. He touched Nyota's hand. "It is not wrong. It is... Uncomfortable."

Nyota leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Spock, I already told you I was willing to try that. I know you're curious. I just want to ease into it. I've never done that before. Maybe we could try it on your birthday."

"Yes. That. The timeline for our experimentation remains..." Spock cast a covetous look to Nyota's posterior. He gave a soft, resigned sigh. "Adequate. That is not what I was referring to."

Nyota took a drink of her wine. "Then what's going on?"

Spock covered Nyota's hand with his own, brushing her fingers with his. "I have told you of Ambassador Spock. The version of myself from an alternate future. There have been some... Interesting developments. It is very unexpected. It seems being in the same reality as another version of myself has created a psychic link."

"Oh." Nyota took another sip of her wine. "And by that you mean..."

"While I am asleep, I am able to see what the Ambassador is doing." Spock paused. "And the Ambassador can see me when he sleeps. See us."

"He can see us." Nyota quickly drained her drink. She then stood up. "He can see us. What we do. Together. When we're alone."

Spock looked up at his lover. "I've upset you." 

"I'm not upset," Nyota replied. "I'm just... Standing. You've just told me that an alternate timeline, elderly version of yourself is able to see us in our intimate moments. What does that mean exactly?"

Spock rose. He cupped her face, kissing her for the first time that night. He could taste the wine on her lips. "He experiences what I do. I am the one in control. But he sees through my eyes. Feels what I feel. Both physically and emotionally."

Nyota pulled back. She worried her lower lip. "Is he here right now?"

Spock shook his head. "The Ambassador is awake right now. I wish to discuss this with you privately."

"And this has been happening since he came here? That was weeks ago. Why are you telling me now?"

Spock took hold of Nyota's slender hands. "Our relationship intrigues the Ambassador. In his time, Lieutenant Uhura was not his lover. I have seen great distress in him over this. He has seen us together and regrets actions he did not take. And I... Understand that. I cannot imagine how it must have been for him. To have known you for so long. But to never have been with you." Spock pressed his forehead to Nyota's. "I wanted you to know what was happening. To understand... It is out of curiosity. And loneliness. But it did not feel fair to keep it a secret from you."

Nyota led Spock to the bed. She curled into his lap, toying with the hair at the back of his neck. "Have you seen her? The other me?"

Spock nodded against her hair. "I've seen memories. She was beautiful, intelligent and brave... Just as you are. The Ambassador cared for her a great deal. But he did not meet her until she was assigned to the Enterprise. He thought it was inappropriate to pursue her."

Nyota frowned deeply. "And he was alone? His whole life?"

Spock shook his head. "He married."

At Nyota's hurt expression, Spock kissed her soundly. "Something I cannot imagine doing with anyone but you. But he wonders... What it would have been... If he had taken the opportunity to pursue you. It was one of the best decisions I ever made."

Nyota rested her head on Spock's shoulder. "You haven't been trying to find a way to keep the Ambassador out of your mind. I know you could if you tried."

Spock rubbed her thigh softly. "I... Have several reasons. Some are more logical than others."

Nyota hugged Spock tighter. "You felt bad for him."

Spock closed his eyes and inhaled Nyota's scent. "The idea of knowing you for an entire lifetime, but never being able to be with you is..." He hugged Nyota closer to himself. "Unpleasant. One of the memories I saw. It was a time when he had the chance to pursue her. He thought she might have wanted him to do it, but he wasn't sure..."

"She did," Nyota supplied. "Of course she did."

She wiped away tears from her face. Spock arched a brow. "I've upset you."

"I just..." Nyota sniffled. "I don't like it. That in this other time we were never together, even if we both wanted it."

Spock kissed her tears away from her face. "At least we have now. This is why we should not know too much about the other timeline. The Ambassador is planning to end our link. I can feel it."

Nyota frowned. "And then he'll be alone. Really alone."

"Yes. That will be the result."

Nyota slipped out of Spock's lap. She paced in front of the bed. "Do you think he'll want to see through your eyes again before he shuts off the link?"

"It is possible," Spock replied.

Nyota nodded slowly. "Can you tell me about the time? The time he could've... When he wanted to... But didn't..."

Spock rose to his feet. He cupped Nyota's chin. He searched her face. "Nyota, are you sure you'd like to do this?"

Nyota nodded. "Yes. And I think you'd like to do this too. It's why you've told me about all of this."

Spock tilted her chin up to kiss her firmly. She was right. She was always right. And it was exactly why he loved her. 

Spock swept Nyota up into his arms and laid her down on the bed. He pressed his fingers to her psi-points. "Just to warn you, _Ashayam_... You will hate the way you wore your hair. Be assured you faired much better than Ensign Chekov."

* * *

Spock curled up around Nyota as she gave a sleepy yawn. If any Vulcan saw the way they slept, they'd say it was illogical. Spock could see nothing _but_ logic in it. Humans enjoyed physical closeness with their mates. As he had taken a human lover, it was logical for him to engage in such rituals... The current one being what Nyota called 'spooning'. "Thank you for what you did for the Ambassador. I know it meant a great deal to him."

Nyota sighed and turned over to snuggle into Spock's chest. "It's not like I didn't enjoy myself. I mean, it was you, but it wasn't you. I've never had a threesome before, even if this was a bit... Unusual. I think this is the only way I would _want_ to do one. And the Ambassador was... Good."

Spock arched an eyebrow. "Just how 'good'?"

"Oh honey..." Nyota cupped Spock's cheek. She gave him a teasing smile. "He _does_ have a hundred and thirty years experience on you."

Spock let out a feral growl, flipping Nyota onto her back. He set about trying to show her that he had all of the experience needed. And she enjoyed every single moment of it.

* * *

Across the galaxy, on New Vulcan, Ambassador Spock idly wondered if perhaps he should have warned the Commander and Nyota that they had only about a year until the Commander went into _Pon Farr_...


End file.
